Today was not the best of days. It was a day of non-stop frustrations, of stabbing pain in my back that won't quit, of disconcerting news about people I love. On days like this I drink too much coffee (there are worse things) and get stuck in my head and can temporarily be sidetracked by anxiety and fear. I used to try to ignore these emotions, pushing them off the table, or deeper within.
And this is with a decade of therapy.
I'm prone to feel terrible when I'm too tired, or asking too much of my body and mind, both of which were the case today.
And then the silver linings: the spring day, the home in which I am writing, which I own. The family around me. The Taco Tuesday ingredients we didn't have to worry about purchasing. And someone, at a gathering, who pulled me aside and said, "Hey, that story you shared resonated and made me hopeful." .She smiled. I felt 800% times better.
Today I was saddened to hear about the sudden closing of The Tampa Tribune and the people who lost jobs. The 121-year old newspaper was shuttered by The Tampa Times (which will hire some, but not all, employees.) I got my start as an intern at The Times, and recall the daily motivation to beat the Tribune. The days of a two-newspaper town are gone, and the news isn't exactly surprise. But I do not like seeing images of people carrying boxes out of buildings moments after getting really terrible news, news that implodes their livelihood. Economics, some say.
Maybe. But there's a better way to treat people.
I used to put an unreasonably high premium on professional success. If you just work hard, good things happen. Sometimes you work hard and it's still not enough. And, while I still value work ethic and excellence in one's craft, the end result is not everything. It really is how you treat people along the way.