Today I was walking through downtown, stretching my neck and back in between writing. I do that now, I get up and take a quick spin around the block, getting in steps and absorbing Vitamin D and breathing, even if it is just for five minutes. It works.
I caught sight of myself in a window and remembered, "Oh my God, I shared my biggest secret a few weeks ago and nothing happened." Well, only good things. (And if there are bad ones, well so be it, because it's my truth, thank you very much.) I had forgotten that I was free of this albatross that had weighed me down, been a wall between me and the rest of the world. Now, not to confuse things -- I'm not free of my disease -- but it's not a secret. This is a relief.
I can say anything.
And even when our culture doesn't really understand the process of recovery, and that it's really not just about booze or drugs or food or abstinence, but rather the freedom that comes when we start living without numbing, I do. Well, I'm starting to.
So I'm walking through downtown, like, "I don't have this secret anymore."
Sometimes I forget or take for granted so much about freedom. I have to be reminded on a daily basis where the true source of freedom comes from. I pray that every day to be reminded this in a fresh way. Here is a hint: it doesn't come from stopping anything, and it doesn't coming from doing anything. It doesn't come from myself. Thank God, because I''m not powerful enough to run this show.
That God indeed.